Cleaning my office and came across this from who knows when or where,
but it’s just what I needed to read today.
Been thinking a lot about how I’m raising my girls lately and if I’m doing enough.
I know, I know.
We are always so hard on ourselves, but the truth is I KNOW I can do so much better.
And their future depends in it.
They are growing up faster than I can keep up with.
I mean really. I’ll have an official teenager in a couple of months.
YIKES!
Thought I’d pass on the good advice to all of you with daughters, although I’m sure a lot of it could apply to boys as well…
Especially since I know SO many of you with daughters…
HOLLA Matilda Jane Mamas!!!
{My thoughts are in parantheses)
1. Love her for who she is.
(Sounds easy, but if we really look at how we are parenting, are we really accepting
of every last bit? It’s not so easy)
2. Help her focus on good goals that include giving of herself to others.
(“Happiness is best kept when given away!” post edit: I forgot to tell you I added this line above myself.
It was similar to what it originally said, but I feel this is so important to raising a confident girl
who knows how to give back to the world and knows the more you give, the more you get back in your heart and soul.)
3. Let her know she’s worth your time.
(I remember when I was a kid and my mom would say just a minute or wave her finger at me to
wait and how it made me feel…Isn’t it interesting how we do what we’re taught?
PLUS, are we REALLY paying attention when they speak or are we Facebooking,
texting, blogging, watching TV while they talk to us-Love and relationships… It’s about time!)
4. Help her stand firm in knowing her value.
(This is so huge in this day and time. Girls grow up way too fast. We also forget that
the nurturing doesn’t stop just because they get older…that’s when they need
it the most. They’ll push you away and that’s just when you hold on tight.)
5. Make sure she knows she belongs.
(This is SO important… we ALL, even as adults, need to feel like we belong.
Imagine how hard that is for a middle schooler?
Start with the dinner table and security at home and the rest will come easier.)
6. Give her choices.
(post edit: But still be her parent, not just a friend. Start them young with good habits and choices,
like wearing girlie clothes like Matilda Jane Clothing.
That way when they get older, they will have more self-esteem and respect for their bodies.
And hopefully not want to run to that store to buy hoochie mama clothes or something
with their nasty clothes name across their hiney!
“Choices” does not mean without boundaries… set them! You’re the only one that can, if you will.)
7. Communicate
(for me this means listen more, talk/chastise less)
8. Never compare her to others.
(For me this means to be more aware of not putting lables on her-hard one if you aren’t always
aware of what comes out of your mouth. It’s easy to forget that literally comparing
to “so and so” is so damaging. They never forget what you say or how you made them feel.)
9. Be impressed by her.
(SO TRUE! I make sure my middle one knows when break dances or
my others sing at the top of their lungs, I am so utterly impressed!!! heehee)
10. Strengthen her heart, don’t thicken her skin.
(Amen. LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS ONE!!! Complete truth.
Although a little skin thickening, done in the right way, I think is good to survive in this world.)
11. Make it safe to make mistakes.
(I need to improve on this one!)
12. Let her achievements be her own.
(Never really thought of it this way… SO true!)
by admin
admin - Hey, sweet thang!!! Thank you and PLEASE pass it along!!! We need to hear more of this everyday rather than just being caught up in the swing of the world. Be a parent, not a friend people! The day will come for that. Miss you big time!!! 😉
Marcel - LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS! I’m passing this one along!
Allison - AMEN SISTA! I have three little girls I babysit (all under the age of 12) who are dealing with challenges and self-esteem issues that I didn’t face until High School. One is so worried about her weight and she isn’t even cubby. Her parents are so worried that because she wants candy and bread over meat and vegetables that she will become diabetic. NEWSFLASH: kids like sweets! They will grow out of it.
This idea of potentially becoming fat and diabetic has consumed her life and is all she talks or thinks about. One day I took the girls bowling and then to lunch. At lunch all the talk of, “I cant have this and that because they will make me fat.” started up. I reassured her that one lemonade was not going to tip the scale and she finally ordered what she wanted. Then at the table the real issue came up. She told me she didn’t want to become fat because she was scared her mommy and daddy wouldn’t love her anymore. I wanted to cry because no little girl should ever question if their parents will love them. I just asked her If she loved me. She said, “Of course I love you! You are the coolest girl I know.” Thats when I knew I had the power to change this little girl’s mind. I then said, “Well, Lets face some facts. I am overweight, but you know what… I am loved. I am loved by the most important people in existence. God loves me, Jesus Christ loves me, my mom and dad love me, and you love me. I have great friends and I live a great life. I have every thing I need. It doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside because people who love you see what is on the inside.” Right then her older sister began humming the song I Am A Child Of God. We all teared up a little and it was such an amazing sight to see this somber little girl finally have hope for a bright future.
I feel like not only is it a moms responsibility to raise confident girls but it is every girls duty to set better examples for those around them. We need to be the women we want our girls to become.
p.s. sorry for such a long comment.